Let's start with the good stuff, shall we? We shall...
HIGH:
That time the Lord provided biscuits and gravy
I haven't had many true cravings during pregnancy; however, the past few weeks momma has been needing some good old fashioned biscuits and sausage gravy {that last part is very important}! Tate will tell you- I haven't shut up about it. Well Tate, there is a simple solution- take your preggo wife to Cracker Barrel get some her some damn biscuits and gravy already {sorry mom for the expletive, but it was necessary to prove my point}! Anyway, as of yesterday I had had it. I was wrapping up my morning therapy session as the clock neared 10:00 AM and thought- that's it, I gotta go get some! Knowing that most places don't serve breakfast past 10:30, I quickly packed up my bags, took my last group back to class, and signed out. I got my accountant's permission {Mr. Tate} to purchase some breakfast on the debit card {gasp!} since I didn't have any cash with me. He approved...probably because he was sick of hearing about how biscuits and gravy would really hit the spot about now, and now, and now, and now too! I got in my car at 10:21 AM, plenty of time to make it to Whataburger...even though their drive thru kinda takes forever. To my dismay, I opened my work bag and discovered- I DIDN"T HAVE MY WALLET!!!! Mission failed. I was so close I could taste it. So, I choked back the tears {not really} and disappointedly drove to my office. I plopped down at my desk and picked up my notepad to write my to-do list. First on the list- Bring Wallet to Work. What is that I see? Hidden under that little notepad was the most beautiful face I had ever seen- President Abraham Lincoln on a 5 dollar bill! It's a miracle! The Lord is good and He provides! 10:26 AM. I hop in my car and beeline it to the drive thru! Those B&G are only $1.99! I have enough change to go another day. And I did. Today.
Now for the not so good stuff...wah wah wahhhh...
LOW:
That time I puked behind a gas station dumpster
That's right. It happened. Two weeks ago to be exact. I took my prenatal vitamin without food {bad idea, as you can probably guess}. As I was driving to work on a chilly October day I started getting hot all of the sudden. I thought, "oh no..." and tried not to panic. I quickly assessed my options-
Option1. Brand spankin' new Velero gas station. I know they had clean restrooms, probably the works with lysoled toilet seats and a restroom attendant. However, cars were lined up around the place...probably due to the state of the art restrooms. That wasn't going to work.
Option 2. Old, nasty gas station next door with plastic bags over the gas pumps and bars on the windows. It was obvious that place had disgusting restroom(s). Oh well, there were only 2 cars in the parking lot, which meant if I were lucky no one was going to hear me barf.
Congrats Option 2, you win! I quickly pulled into the parking lot and did one of those unbuckle the seat belt, put the car in park, turn off the ignition all in one motion. I wanted to appear calm, so naturally I power-walked my pregnant aspirin right up that sidewalk and through the front door. As I ignored the "Hi, welcome" from the gas station attendant, I was stopped in my tracks when I read, "OUT OF ORDER" on the restroom door. NOOOOOO! You know that moment when you have to go to the bathroom so very badly and when you turn the doorknob it's locked, so you instantly go on yourself? No? Yes you do. Anyway, I felt like that but with throw up. I bolted out the door, past the mom putting her son in the car seat, and ran for the hills dumpster. Classy. After I relieved myself, I got back in my car and headed to work like the pregnant champ I am.
I could really use some biscuits and sausage gravy about now, how about you?
